Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
