He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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