We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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