Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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