is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
