Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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