So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
