I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
