Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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