Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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