We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
