I puked a lego.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It all started with a game of naked twister.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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