wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
