chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it's like iHOP with fire
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
