im holly from the hills drunk
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
