you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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