definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
