I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize