"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just want nice things and good sex
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
