just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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