There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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