Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mike_lawson hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

Fav 39 5958 1410
share tweet
(775): View more from Nevada

Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.

Fav 20 1565 5026
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.

Fav 18 3352 1218
share tweet
(210): View more from Texas

no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked

Fav 10 3802 1867
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

Fav 7 1052 2910
share tweet
(414): View more from Wisconsin

got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain

Fav 2 2015 864
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."

Fav 5 2805 952
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!

Fav 1 957 419
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(409): View more from Texas

we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman

Fav 3 63 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT