i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
