She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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