they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
