I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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