Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize
