its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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