As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
