girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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