he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
