Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
