i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
