Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My dick has a subreddit
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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