Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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