Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
