I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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