And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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