problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize