i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
