The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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