So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
