Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
