All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
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