It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
