I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
