I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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