sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
