I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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