i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize