At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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