I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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