I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
