I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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