my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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