When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she peed on how many people?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
