Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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