the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
