am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize