You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
