dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
